Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Whinge - Going no where


Every have that feeling like your trying you hardest but not really going anywhere? I sucks, and I've got it chronic right about now. Usually I'm pretty optomistic and upbeat, but every now and then, everyone gets a bit down. I feel like I'm trying my hardest, but haven't got a whole lot to show for it.

This is not some long depressing post, I promise. It's just a bad mood I'm in as a result of a letter I got in the snail mail, from myself. It was written on the 17/5/11. I don't even really remember writting it. It was an excericse that one of my lectures got us to do during class at uni, but I can't even remember which one. Basically, we had to write a list of goals for ourselves that we wanted to complete by the end of the year, and then the tutor kept them to send to us at a later date.

This is what I wrote.....

- Move into my own house
- Complete a fun run
- Gain work experience
- Produce my own media and publish it
- Get a HD on an assignment
- Take some form of Holiday/Road Trip
- Create a blog
- Present my own radio/flagship show
- Present news bullitins on SYN
- Try and get on-air/behind the scenes TV experience
- Start saving a planning an overseas trip

And what have I done off that list? Pretty much nothing.

If I was trying to be optomistic, I would tell myself that even though I havn't done a fun run, I can now run 5 kms, and that I HAVE gained work experience, working at Nuffnang, and I HAVE got a HD, and I HAVE created a blog (even though it's not a very good one),  and at least I HAVE traveled in the past, even if it was nearly 4 years ago. But the point is, I'm not in a optomistic mood. I'm one of those my-life-sucks, binge-on-chocolate moods. (I just ate half a packet of cooking chocolate. Yes, cooking chocolate.)

I know I'm being a brat, and I know I have so much to be thankful for, but at the moment, I'm just not feeling it. As much as I loved this year, I feel like there is so much I wanted to achieve that I didn't. Maybe I'm just aiming the bar too high, but I like to suceed. I like to do well. I'm not going to give up though. I will still do all of those things, they might just have to wait until next year, or maybe the year after.

So I'm just going to spend the rest of tonight sulking, and wallowing in my fowl mood, and then tomorrow, I will wake up and be ok. I hope.

Do you have moods like this? Is my mood justified, or should I just snap out of it?

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